Where are YOU???

You start by making all the mistakes there could ever be! Then, when you look around, no one is cheering you on; they all seem to look in disgust and in judgment, despite their neutral looking faces (at least for some). More than 25 years ago, when I was still an infant, everyone would cheer me on at my first attempt at anything, be it learning how to walk or even attempting to hold a pen. It`s funny how things change so fast, am now able to write a perfect sentence, but no one is appreciating that, they are instead busy scrutinizing every word of it, every position of the comma and every location of the full stops! They are quick to tear down my writing at the very onset of any reading discomfort! Where are the people who used to cheer me on when I held the pencil for the first time, when I used to write on anything that allowed movement of my pen nib? Where are you? Where are those who took my writing as a source of entertainment; those who were quick to flaunt me to their friends because of my initial attempts to write? I knew this was coming, because the moment I started standing, you stopped cheering my crawling; the moment I started making steady steps, you stopped cheering my standing! Sooner than later even my ability to walk was forgotten. Nobody cheered me on for walking any longer. The same goes for my speaking abilities! Before I could even say a word, my smile and laughter is all you cared about; the moment I started mumbling `Da` and `Ma`, it’s all you wanted to hear. Soon I was past that; and my mumblings were now more understandable. You were quick to start talking to me as if you expected me to know all you said. I was able to learn what you were saying, for most words, you used to ask me to repeat after you.

And here I am now, doing more than I did several years back, but I feel it’s not enough. Am here alone, cheering myself on! Telling myself that what I did today is better than what I attempted yesterday. When I look up and try to see who is being cheered on, they are too far ahead. Thinking of ever doing what they have done just kind of makes me feel like am a day dreamer. And yet still part of me believes I shall be like them or even exceed how far they have gone. It is not that I want to be better than them, but rather I want to equally make myself better than I was yesterday, a hundred folds of time. I want to do better than I did yesterday, even if only I cheer myself on. I want to go past learning the alphabet characters to totally inventing a word. I want to explore my full potential. To do that, I have to keep doing, I have to keep improving, and for as long as time allows, I have no doubt my full potential will go to exponential extents.  Am doing this for myself, it is my life`s personal journey, I want to know, understand, and experience the fulfillment of it all. I don’t seek to please no body; at least that is almost out of reach.

I have attempted to go beyond this world, to go beyond what is known, and have only been led back to what I already know. Oftentimes we expect that by traveling, we shall discover new, only to end up understanding ourselves better. I have visited other worlds; they all point me back to where I come from – home. Those other worlds too are short of what I was looking for; they are deficit of the impossible. I was looking for the impossible, hoping to be the first to make it possible. There was none. I chose to come back, to come back home. In this journey, I have come to understand so much especially about myself. I have come to learn of the non-existence of the impossible! I now agree with others, who have traveled a similar journey, that impossible is only in our dictionary. And now that I know where all possibilities lie (within me), I shall go step by step and better myself, as I continue to cheer on myself – for probably only I knows how far I have come and where exactly am headed.

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